Monday, July 29, 2013

Moab Expedition: A Journey of Manhood, Mud, and Marmots July 15- July 18

      Day 1: One For the Ages  Us men, Zac, Kaden, Grandpa, Jeremy, and myself (Parker), all took a much needed trip to Holyoak Mountain in beautiful Moab. We had planned the journey on very short notice, and after very little planning and deliberation. It was decided that my brother would cover all expenses, Grandpa would be our guide and captain, and Kaden and I would provide the entertainment.
    We made our way down early Monday morning (8:30 in the A.M.) and met up with Kaden. When we hit the road again, there were few stops. No rest for the wicked I guess. After what had seemed like days, we made it to the city of Moab. We ate lunch at a small family-owned burger joint called Wendy's, and continued our journey up the mountain. When we first made it to the dirt roads, we noticed a black Jaguar following us, and thought we had definitely provoked the local mafia families, and they put a price on our heads. But no, it was just some yuppy boy taking his kids up for a nice drive on a dirt road. Following the scare with the hitman, we faced yet another near death experience when our captain took a horse shoe-turn with a little too much zeal. My dear cousin was then petrified for the remainder of our off road adventure, and discussion of a mutiny was tossed about between us.

 


 Fortunately, our captain was a man of great experience, and he delivered us to our destination of our beloved aunt Cheryl's cabin, where her and her granddaughter, Cierra, greeted us. As soon as warm hello's, and friendly greetings were finished, we hit the ground running. We changed out of our soft shirts and comfy pants, to a more rugged, manly attire. We each claimed the beasts (ATV's) we would be riding for the trip, and took off on a ride not for the faint of heart. We crossed woods and streams, rocky passes and hills, but we all survived, and my fellow adventurers were pleased with the land.We also engaged in some fishing, and Cierra caught six fish. Kaden and myself, zero.
      We returned back to the cabin and ate a hearty meal. I don't remember what it was, but since we were camping you can be assured it was hearty. Night fell, and the rain started to pour. Thunder and lightning shook the cabin, like the mighty roars of the native bears (which we soon learned Kaden didn't like). Following the multiple side tracking discussions, we all retired to our quarters, for a good nights rest.
    Day 2: We awoke early the next morn, and ate yet another hearty meal. (Again, I don't remember, but use your imagination, it was a grisly outdoor adventure.) Bellies full and dishes cleaned, we hopped onto our tame beasts and headed for The Pass.
    The Pass is basically just a spot off of one of the roads with the only means of a cellular signal. We pulled out our mobile devices, and made the necessary calls to loved ones, and colleagues alike. It had been rumored around the camp that our uncle, and fellow adventurer Jeremy, may be heading for the mountain early that day. We tried and tried to contact him, but with no luck. We returned to the trails for another bout of exploration and recreation.
    A few hours passed, and we were on the main road about 2 miles from the cabin, when suddenly the rumors could be pushed aside, and our uncle was spotted, along with his lovely daughter Quinn, traversing up the perilous mountain. With contact made, we knew this trip could continue to be made into one for the ages, and full of excitement.
    Our uncle Jeremy is one who dwells in the mountains, and thrives off adventure. Rain again began to fall, and the trails began to turn muddy. So to accomodate to his desires, we decided to engage in the ancient art of Muddin'. Muddin' is the act of taking one's ATV through the deep puddles of mud at high speeds, resulting in the participant to be covered in mud. Little did we know, that Jeremy was suffering from the effects of being old. He did not drive at high speeds, or spray mud up into the heavens. Instead, he rode the trails, enjoying the scenery, with his Gilligan hat on. The team was slightly disappointed.
    Returning back to the cabin, we were a mess. I had covered myself head to toe in nature's paint, and the rest of my crew looked very similar. Except for ol' man Jezza. We stayed outside in the pouring rain to rinse a little, all while listening to Kaden's various animal calls he made with his mouth. They all sounded the same. About an hour later, us boys were stripped down, cleaned up (a little), and back outside, where the rain had subsided. We again went fishing, and Cierra had again caught six fish. Kaden caught two, and Jeremy, Quinn, and myself all tallied a whopping zero together. So we went back. Kaden and myself couldn't think of many things to do, so we sat on the couch. Just like at home. The gang all participated in a game of Go-Fish later that night, all in good fun. The results were rather surprising. A four-way tie for first place between Zac, Cierra, Quinn, and Kaden, and a dead last finish for me. I think they had plotted before hand, due to my skill in elementary card games, and elephant-like memory. The night was fairly young, but we were all beat. And as any weary explorer would, we went to bed.
    Day 3 The morning came quickly, and young Zac and Jeremy were off on a ride. I went downstairs to the kitchen to find everybody already awake. Following the routine, we ate breakfast, cleaned up, and headed out, to see what Mother Nature had in store for us today. It was a bit cloudy and the air was slightly chilled. My cousin and I didn't feel like we were in the right condition to ride the 4 wheeler's, so we sat in the cabin and talked to Cheryl. After discussing our boredom, and asking how we could help out around the cabin, Cheryl gave Kaden and I our most daunting and time consuming task yet: Marmot hunting.
    She informed us of these little critters called marmots. Much like a wood chuck, but slightly larger. It looked like a half- beaver, half-squirrel, half-rabbit thing. Marmots like to dwell beneath cabins and wood piles, and chew the lumber away. These little buggers were responsible for destroying porches, decks, and floors of cabins, and ruining entire fire wood supplies. They needed to be dealt with, and we were the right people for the job. We loaded up the .22's, and rode tandem on one of the ATV's. We scoped out many different locations, and learned their ways. When we found a spot to camp, our hunts only lasted around 15 minutes. We'd shoot, and they'd run. If we got one, we'd have to go find it, and throw him away from trails and cabins. If we missed however, we'd have to accept defeat, and try again an hour or so later.
    The rest of the day was a combination of marmot shooting, 4 wheeling, mudding, and animal watching. Sadly, Jeremy has a job, and due to the integrity of his character, and just recently receiving said job, he left us, and went home. But he left Quinn, sooo that was cool. We had tin foil dinners for dinner, and it was a nice relaxing night, before we all had to leave.
    Day 4: The Final Day Our last day in beautiful Moab came, and Zac and I were up early. We embarked on an early morning ride to the top of the mountain, where one could see all kinds of wildlife including deer, elk, maybe some wild cat, and bears. We sat there in silence atop a hill, perched like hawks, and saw nothing more than a few deer. We heard elk bugling in the distance, but we were really there to see a bear. We rode back to the cabin, and everyone else had got up to see the day. We ate our last meal there, and looked back at all of our memories we had been served on this lovely trip. Cheryl told us that we still had plenty of time to play, so we did. Zac, Cierra, and Quinn got on the 4 wheelers and went for one last, long ride, and Kaden and I grabbed the guns. Things were about to get serious.
    We knew of a great spot to scope out some marmots, and we knew there were some pretty large ones camping out in the wood below. We approached the spot quietly and carefully, for the marmots knew we were coming. 50 yards away, the marmot encampment sat, still and quiet. We continued to our vantage point, and began plotting their demise. I got to my favorite shooting spot, and allowed myself to catch my breath, and use my marksman skills to lower my heart rate. We raised our rifles, and began scanning the pile for any of these blasted creatures to test their fate. Finally, I see movement across the top boards, and zero in on my target. I gave myself a second to gain my composure, and squeezed the trigger. The scope moved up (but ever so slightly, because its a .22) and I saw the marmot fall.We hurried to where the body had fallen, and swept the pile for the body. But we never found it. A possible failure, and one that couldn't have hurt any more. We were man, the sophisticated hunters known for destruction, and the creation of the internet, and they were rodents. Dumb, fat, wood munching rodents. We hung our heads, and went back to the cabin for a few minutes.
    We decided to try our luck again, and headed back up to the wood pile. We were quiet hunters, ones who stalked these things until we were certain of their death, but we didn't see any. Kaden decided to walk up on the wood pile for another look, just hoping we could see if we in fact did hit any others. After minutes of looking, I thought for sure we had failed, and would have to wait another year to come back, and have at these things again. Out of nowhere, Kaden had found it. Beneath a board, about three feet below, lie this marmot. Lying there, dead was the fattest of the bunch, perhaps the kingpin. We ran back to camp, grabbed the gloves (because let's face it, dead things are gross) and did what any teenage boy would do, and took pictures with the thing. A 15-pounder, this marmot was, and boy were we proud. We disposed of the marmot up on the hill where we took the others, and went back to camp.






















 
    We cleaned up and got the cabin all sorted out, so we could make our departure. We said our goodbye's and were on our way. We made it. We survived 4 days in an unforgiving wilderness with bears, man-eating bugs, running water, and those pesky marmots. Next year we will be far more prepared, and itching to have some fun. If one, or any of those things sound like your cup of tea, I highly suggest you get in well with my family, and join us some time. Thanks to all who participated, and especially Cheryl for letting us intrude, and run wild up on the mountain.

---P.W. Martin

Oh, and Grandpa tried to throw an empty creamer cup out of his window before we left, but his window was up, and it kind of splashed on the window. It was super funny.




 






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